The Seven Words

Dan Stoneking
June 2008

I wrote five blogs the first week I started. One month passed. I deleted two of them. I fretted about the conflagration ignited between my personal views and political correctness. Political correctness won out. Another month passed.

I’m ready to write again. George Carlin died last night. I can’t say that he was my favorite comedian, but we connected completely on our love of words, and his iconic comedy piece, The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV, was inspirational to my views on the topic of swear words. In 1972, when Carlin first performed Seven Dirty Words at a show in Wisconsin, he was arrested for indecency. I’m not sure our society is any more forgiving or understanding today. In fact, the last vestiges of our puritanical roots may actually be stronger than ever.

And it’s a shame.

I don’t think everyone got the joke. I fear that many, even among those who laughed through them, heard it all as a naughty kind of pleasure, one of almost slapstick shock value, like people falling down or getting hit in the crotch in hidden videos.

I think it was so much more than that. I think Carlin was making a commentary on the arbitrary nature of society’s moral legislation on diction. We pick some words – a combination of consonants and vowels – and decide unilaterally that they are offensive. And don’t tell me that what the words mean is offensive, because our legislation does not forgive context. You can’t say the seven words on television regardless of their usage or intended meaning. “My F#*&’ing arm hurts,” is just as much a violation on air and in the office as “F$#@ you, man!” It seems we are too indolent or disinterested to apply meaning or intent.

And don’t get me wrong. I believe we should all be kind to each other. I would not speak blasphemy in church. It is clearly rude to curse at someone. And the overuse of any word or phrase, profane or otherwise, demonstrates a lack of creativity and intellect. But somewhere along the way, our propriety became too prudish and capricious. People insult each other every day. But with a little wit and guile on behalf of the perpetrator, it is accepted with little if any condemnation, as long as certain identified buzz words are not included.

Passive-aggressive wins out.

I’d rather my friends cuss and swear innocently with aplomb than judge and hurt others by invoking invectives that pass our society’s random litmus test for word choice.

Spoiler alert. Swear words ahead. Don’t read any further if my opinion has offended you and you choose to stay warm and cozy in a politically correct web of arbitrary acceptable word usage. Because, in honor of George Carlin, here are the The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV:

“Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits”