The title is a bit of an oxymoron, since conflict is adversarial, and accords are about agreements. But I did not choose hastily or without thought. We can better manage conflicts if we first come to an agreement about the types and resolutions to conflicts. There is not one singular form of conflict. I’m a big book and movie buff, so I am going to steal the types from literature and stories. There is no conflict in this stealing. They don’t mind. While each of these can be parsed out into myriad subsets, let’s just focus on some classic examples as they apply to the workplace. Whether work imitates art or art imitates life, these tend to apply. Knowing the type of conflict that we face is the first step to resolving them. If one or more resonate, then this will be worth the pecking on the keyboard. There are seven types of conflict.
Character vs character. You and your co-worker. This can be anywhere from passive aggressive to hostile. We’ve all been here. It is probably the second most common form of conflict at work (I am foreshadowing here). Here are my three cents (who got to decide it is always two cents?). This type has always been a bit of a misnomer. It would be an awkward and too long title, but more accurate to label it as “Character 1 has an idea, preference, thing that is important to them vs Character 2 who has a different idea, preference, thing that is in conflict with Character 1’s.” Solution: Focus on the thing in a factually dispassionate way. Don’t expect to be friends. Play fair. It is always the one who strikes back who gets caught and is given a penalty. Be prepared to win some and lose some.
Character vs society. For us communicators, it is actually healthy to acknowledge the conflict here. We have different agendas. Media wants a story. Congress wants answers. Survivors want help. Solution: We can all play nicely in the sandbox, but good fences make good neighbors. Look at the narrative from their perspective and abide their needs when and where you can without sacrificing your fellow actors.
Character vs nature. Hurricanes. Earthquakes. Tornadoes. Tsunamis. We will never win. It’s like playing against Michael Jordan, we can’t beat them, the best we can hope to do is hope to contain them. Usually, we can’t even do that. Solution: Avoid the conflict with nature. Collaborate with as many characters as possible before, during, and after nature’s impacts. Move out of nature’s path. Build back stronger and greener. Mitigate.
Character vs technology. I heard they came up with a new name for The Help Desk. It’s now called The Desk. That was a joke. Sort of. Reboot your computer and call back if that does not fix it. Sorry your time and attendance and travel arrangements take longer than they did in the 1950’s. We are technology. Solution: Become an expert in and advocate of Knowledge Management. In my own simple definition, knowledge management is a multidisciplinary approach to ensure that technology serves the mission, not the other way around. Fight the good fight on this one.
Character vs fate. Shit happens. It is what it is. Bad things happen to good people. Karma is a, well, you know. Seems impossible. Solution: You first have to decide if you believe in fate. And then again, each time something happens whether it is fate in that case or the result of cause and effect. Remember and leverage free will. Free will and fate are not mutually exclusive. The Serenity Prayer works nicely here. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t even sweat the medium stuff.
Character vs supernatural. Crap. When and if this happens, all bets are off the table. Maybe it’s when Artificial Intelligence fully takes over the planet. Maybe an alien monster. Probably something that we haven’t even anticipated or dreamed about (nightmares about, I guess). Solution: Hopefully, it will be the same day that we learn all of those superheroes are real after all. More likely, this is the time to spend with those you love. Have a glass of Pinot Noir or a pint of Guiness, and maybe a big bowl of mint chocolate-chip ice cream. You’ve done enough. And it probably will not take long.
Character vs self. Here it is. The most common form of conflict. I have addressed this at other times and other ways. We can be amazing jerks to ourselves. With all of those other conflicts as context, it can be both a curse and a gift that this one is the most common and powerful. Solution: I would change the title of this one too for clarity and emphasis. It should be called Self vs. Self. A better reminder that you are on both sides. You get to choose which voice you listen to. You get to choose exercise, therapy, medicine, self-will, determination. I know, so easy to say, so hard to do. I have been on both sides. I get it. Let’s change the title again. How about Self and all of my friends, professional resources, self-awareness, self-esteem, and courage vs the weaker self. You got this. You do. And tomorrow is another day.
Darn it. I just realized that I did not start this editorial with a witty anecdote. I have nothing to return to here to close this out nicely. I really screwed up. I’m a loser. Wait. Shut up, self. I’m good enough, I’m smart enough. People like me. This was a really good editorial. I wasn’t just pecking on the keyboard.
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Stoneking Strategic Communications (SSC) 