These qualities are not synonyms, but rather they are overlapping and complementary. If you respect someone it means that you admire them deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements. These can cover a wide array of characteristics and do not need to be all inclusive. In fact, they seldom are. I respect Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps for his accomplishments in the pool. I know little else about him. I respect Keanu Reeves for how naturally nice he appears in all company. I only like half of his movies. Earning respect is an essential component of reputation management, but alone, it is not enough to ensure you are fully integrated into the inner sanctum of decision-making and influence.
If you say that someone has gravitas, you mean that you respect them because they seem serious and intelligent. Respecting them in other ways is still great, but being seen as serious and intelligent are specific characteristics that will make people listen to you and even follow you. People who never speak up do not earn gravitas. People who don’t have the right priorities or focus will not be seen with gravitas.
To have a seat at the table basically means that the individual has the same opportunities as everyone else to listen, share, define and influence and without retribution. Unfortunately, even if you have respect and gravitas, you still may not have a seat at the table. It could be due to perceptions of your predecessor, a lack of appreciation for communications in general, or simply a lack of consideration. The trick is to build your reputation and gravitas and parlay them into that seat.
During the last 25 years I have had countless Public Relations, Public Information, and Public Affairs professionals complain to me about some version of them not being listened to, not being appreciated, and simply not having a seat at the table. What they did not realize was that it was always within their control to change that. For those still engaged in this challenge, here are six things you can do to get that seat.
1. Know your stuff. This should be the easiest step. Nobody in your organization knows more about what you do than you. Show them. Speak up. Enter your outreach campaigns for awards. If it helps, hang your diploma and awards in your office. Consider joining the Public Relations Society of America (PRSA) and work to get accredited through them and certified in multiple programs.[1] Join other associations that heighten your gravitas. Take positions in those organizations. Keep up with professional reading, books, and articles, and leave copies on your desk.
2. Know their stuff. This is the first and biggest mistake communicators make. They don’t take the time and energy to learn about the roles, missions and priorities of their program and operations counterparts. Granted, you will never know as much as them, but showing an effort earns respect and a long-term commitment makes your job and their job easier. If you have ever traveled to another country, you know that they appreciate even an effort at speaking their language. Same here. This dedication also builds relationships. They can’t respect you if they don’t know you.
3. Wake up first. Some of you may not like hearing this one, but it is true. The most successful communicators wake up and report to work before the rest of the leadership team, especially the boss and especially during a crisis. Imagine a breaking crisis or a bad news article in the paper. Who do you want the boss to hear it from first. By being up early you not only learn about things first, and can share them, but you can also share your plan of action to respond in that same correspondence before being asked. Then go get a second cup of coffee.
4. Demonstrate communication successes. If you want the seat, it is not the time to be humble. People need to see and know your accomplishments. I try to bring something to every meeting, especially the daily meeting during a crisis. And it can be done quickly. Some real examples I have shared in meetings include the White House retweeting us, information we got to a farm so they could move (and save) their livestock before a flood came in, getting messaging on the Good Year Blimp and on the electronic billboards, and getting Homeland Security Today to agree to run a feature article on our work with State Emergency Managers. My favorite litmus test for success are these things that meet all three criteria of being meaningful, measurable, and visible. Even if your success only qualifies in one, it may still be great, but if you can find examples that meet all three, it is a winner for sure. You have successes. The more the team knows about them, the more they want you included.
5. Provide Critical Feedback and Counsel. On those occasions you do get a seat, or even an understanding ear, it is finally your opportunity to leverage your ability to listen, share, define and influence. Use that ability. I have found that people often struggle in a meeting on how much, how little, or when to speak. Pretend you are in an hour-long meeting with a dozen members of the leadership team. A good rule of thumb is that if you do not speak at all, you are wrong. Conversely, if you speak the most, you are also likely wrong. That does not mean just speak for the sake of speaking or weighing in on issues of little importance. But if you are listening closely and have committed to knowing your stuff and their stuff, there will always be a moment where you have a thought or opinion that no one else at the table has yet considered or addressed. Do it. Just pick your battles wisely, don’t insult other colleagues, but offer kind, diplomatic, and purposeful input that can add value to the outcome.
6. Passion. I have spent my life trying to find a passion. I have tried painting, biking, writing, running, crafts, furniture building, cooking, and more. But I never felt so strongly about any of them to wake up every day wanting to do them. A few years ago, I was lamenting about this to a friend, and she seemed surprised and observed, “Dan you may or may not have ‘a’ passion, but you are an extremely passionate person.” I learned that you can be passionate without having a passion. Be passionate about your work. It’s contagious. I would like to sit at a table with you.
And while you are working on that, if you have any ideas for another passion I should try, let me know. I am hard at work on my bucket list.
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Stoneking Strategic Communications (SSC) 