I have heard the phrase “embrace your weaknesses” before. A bit much for me. When I think of embrace, I think of affection, holding someone so willingly and enthusiastically. I save my embraces for relationships. I don’t embrace change, mistakes, ideas. Maybe every once in a while, I will embrace a hot cup of coffee on a cold winter morning.
But I do think we should give our weaknesses a brief hug, maybe a handshake at least. Let them know that we recognize them, acknowledge them, and that we got their back. You have heard that we learn more from our failures than our successes. Same thing. We can learn so much more from our weaknesses than our strengths. There are so many personality tests that can tell you what your weaknesses are, but when you turn the page, they rarely help you address them. Not to mention, while there is some value in those tests, they have their own weaknesses. Whenever I take one, I want to ask back, are you asking Work Dan that question, or Home Dan, because the answer is completely different. Moreover, if you ask us Geminis, our answers will be different tomorrow.
You know yourself the best. Reach out to your weaknesses and have a good conversation. For each one, take it a step further and go beyond the initial hug and figure out how to adapt to each other in the most productive, pleasing way possible. Start by accepting that you are actually addressing weaknesses, and not some wishy-washy misnomers like opportunities, gaps, lapse, imperfection. Nah. These are weaknesses and they must be puppy trained.
There is a degree of power and self-confidence to owning them, even more so when we admit them to others. But the real gifts we get from taking a deep dive into this intimate relationship are self-awareness, growth, and strength. Yep. Our weaknesses can also be our strengths once we sit them down and tackle them strategically. I’ve done it. It is better than acupuncture. And I love acupuncture. Here are some of my biggest weaknesses, what I learned from them, and how I grew stronger.
Getting lost. During a job interview I was asked to share by biggest weakness. I told them that I would probably get lost leaving the building and that I could not find my way out of a wet paper bag. They laughed. I was hired. A few weeks later I was staffing the principal on the way to a media event. He asked how we were getting there and how long it would take. I reminded him how I answered the question when I applied and assured him the driver had it covered. From this weakness, I learned to leverage and maximize. I never stress about this because I have managed expectations.
Anxiety. This is a huge one for me as it is for so many people. I tried to reduce alcohol and coffee. I exercised more. I tried therapy. None of that worked for me, so I finally tried medicine. It has been absolutely life-altering. It took me a while, but for his weakness I learned that sometimes you absolutely need to fix them, without compromise, if you can.
Subject Knowledge. We all have areas of knowledge where we are weak. My whole life, anything medical or financial was like a foreign language to me. If you get sick, I will bring you flowers, read to you, comfort you. But don’t expect me to remember the name of your disease tomorrow. If you tell me about your 401k plan or stock portfolio, in my brain I am thinking about what I want for dinner. In emergency management I found that I am also weak in understanding mitigation and flood plain management. I learned just enough to ask the right questions and translate it to something I could understand. That way, anyone would understand. From these I learned a classic resolution – it depends. If it matters to my income or my reputation, I suck it up and dig in. But if it is unnecessary and does not provide joy, I just let it go.
Aesthetics. Here I am primarily talking about presentations, posters, infographics, and other art designs essential in strategic communications. I am color blind, so that probably doesn’t help. It’s too bad because I enjoy doing that stuff. But I have hugged my weakness enough to realize that this is not where my talent lies. I learned to trust and rely on others who are stronger. I share my strengths with them; I am comfortable borrowing theirs.
Oversharing. I am an open book. I wear my heart on my sleeve. If my Jeep gets towed, I post it on Facebook. If my elbow itches, I tell my mate about it. If you ask me where all of my tattoos are, I will let you know. Sometimes, I irritate myself a bit with this one. My inner voice snaps my attention and reminds me that I don’t have to share every little detail of my life. This one? Meh. I accept it. I keep an eye on it and sometimes I tone it down. But if you have been reading these weaknesses closely and between the lines, you will be reminded that our weaknesses and strengths often rest very close to each other. I overshare, but I also empathize, and story tell, and for many that makes me more approachable and human.
Bravado. I tend to be Type A. I read on a dating site once that saying that is a turn-off, so it must be a weakness. I am aggressive, goal-oriented, rigidly organized, driven with a constant sense of urgency. Maybe not your first pick for the church picnic, but not necessarily a bad thing to have on your side. But who wants to be that guy or be around him all the time? Nobody. I have learned to temper it, control it. I have to admit that age and the decrease in testosterone help. I have learned to put my bravado aside when I can and to pull it out quickly when I must.
Relationships. I have been divorced twice. My heart has been broken. I don’t have many friends. My only success has been as a dad, but that is different than other relationships. I like to joke that babies and animals love me; it’s the rest of the world where I run into trouble. Except it is not a joke. Here I have learned to never give up. I am in a wonderful relationship where we just celebrated our one-year anniversary together. The few friends that I do have are phenomenal. Every day, I try to become a kinder person than I was the day before. It’s a journey, but I am going to keep pushing.
Your weaknesses are different than mine. Your lessons learned and paths to strength will be different too. But I promise you this – if you hug your weaknesses, maybe have an adult beverage together, and make a deliberate and conscious effort to address each of them, you will be stronger and happier tomorrow.
If you’ll excuse me, I need to find my way down to the kitchen to grab a beer and play a game of Scrabble against one of my weaknesses. He has no idea who he is up against.
Stoneking Strategic Communications (SSC) 